The five stages of grief, originally conceptualized by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in the 1960s, provide a psychological framework to comprehend the complex process individuals undergo when facing significant loss or life-altering events.
Each serves as a model to catalog the many emotional experiences found during the grief journey. Understanding each of these stages is helpful when encouraging empathy and compassion, both for ourselves and others amid the challenging terrain of loss.
The non-linear nature of these stages underscores the uniqueness of each individual’s grieving process. Understanding these emotional places helps support the grief journey and eventual healing.
Posted below are links to the different sections of this series. You can either read from start to finish, or pick those areas where you are, or where you think you are. The grief journey is YOUR journey, but please don’t do it alone.
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THE STAGES OF GRIEF
The stages of grief represent a psychological framework that individuals often traverse when confronted with a significant loss or life-altering event. Developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in the 1960s, these stages offer a structured understanding of the emotional journey one undergoes during the grieving process. As noted earlier, these stages are not linear, and individuals may travel through them in different ways or revisit the stages multiple times.
Denial
The initial stage of grief, denial, serves as a protective mechanism, allowing you to absorb the impact of the loss progressively. During this phase, it’s common to resist the reality of the situation. It is an emotional means to ease into the overwhelming feelings that accompany loss. According to Kübler-Ross, denial provides a temporary respite, affording you the time to comprehend the gravity of your circumstances.
Anger
As the reality of the loss sets in, you might experience feelings of anger. This stage serves as a natural emotional response to the perceived unfairness of now being alone. When anger arises, you can direct it inward, outward, or toward those who are gone. While anger is uncomfortable, like the many feelings experienced, it helps acknowledge the situation and more toward healing.
Bargaining
In the bargaining stage, we can try to bargain with God. Bargaining is a mental method to regain control or reverse the circumstances that led to the loss. Amid the sadness, pleas and promises to God are attempts to return to normalcy. According to Kübler-Ross, bargaining expresses the human tendency to seek meaning and purpose, even in the face of profound grief.
Depression
A deep sense of sadness and despair characterizes the depression stage. As you confront the permanence of the loss, feelings of isolation, hopelessness, and helplessness can feel like it continues to grow. Depression is a natural response to the magnitude of the emotional toll, requiring patience and self-compassion for the gradual transition from this stage.
Acceptance
The final stage of grief, acceptance, does not suggest happiness or the absence of pain. Nor is it a time to feel guilty because you are sensing life returning to a new normal. It implies a recognition and transition of the new reality. You might find new ways to move forward and acknowledge the changed circumstances of your loss.
An Alternate Perspective
Interestingly, Psychologist and emotions expert George A. Bonanno, suggests another perspective in his book,”The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss.” He suggests Our inborn emotions, anger and denial, relief and joy--help us deal effectively with loss. His book makes sense, yet there may be value in attempting to organize the emotional journey. I believe each person and their grief journey is different. George Bonanno’s book is worth reading for broader context.
Some Thoughts on This Section
Understanding the stages of grief is essential, as it creates empathy and compassion for yourself and others navigating the complex terrain of loss. Recognizing the non-linear nature of these stages highlights the uniqueness of each individual’s grieving process. By comprehending these stages, you and your support network can navigate the challenging journey of grief, and eventual restoration.
Reference for this Section:
Bonanno, G. A. (2009). The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss. Basic Books.
Kübler-Ross, E., Kessler, D., et al. (2014). On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss. Scribner.
I am not a medical or mental health provider. I am a Board Certified Hypnotist trained through the American School of Clinical Hypnosis. I am also a Certified Coach and Accredited Stress Coach. The work I do is to help clients regain confidence, overcome fears, and ease stresses. Those methods are supportive of this topic.
This resource is not a substitute for medical or medical health advice. If some issues are outside the scope of my practice, I can refer you to those best able to help. I am obligated by an ethical standard to pursue the best care for you and operate within the scope of my training. In many cases, even if you are being seen by a medical professional, I can help you if I receive a medical referral. This is common practice, as many doctors refer to certified consulting hypnotists to complement their plan of care.
